Ok, I have never claimed to be the best mom in the world. I am not expecting my mother of the year award to be arriving in the mail anytime soon. And I accept critism from my older family members. But from other mothers off the street? I mean really..
Now, Im more of a "Roseanne" type of mom. Im a smart ass, I tend to yell and I dont cater to my childrens every single need. I teach them to do for themselves. I teach them to laugh at themselves when things get tough. I teach them to be strong and not to worry about what others think. I teach them right and wrong and the golden rule.
I do not schedule them within an inch of their lives. I do not coddle them on their every whine. My kids are very familar with the saying "suck it up cupcake".
Now, that may sound like Im a bitch of a mother.. but there is ALOT of laughter in my house. And there is alot of love. My kids know that I love them more then anything. And I know that they love me. And I do try to do everything in my power to make them happy. I want them to have a better childhood then I did. And for the most part, I think they are.
So, for some "uppity stick up her ass mom" to come at me and tell me that my kids will not amount to anything because Im not letting them live up to their potential by having them schedule with all these activites is completly asinine.. And it pisses me off to no end. I feel like the kids that have helicopter parents will not be able to function out in the real world on their own.. For they can not make decisions for themselves, nor use their imagination. And as far as thinking outside the box...forget.
Im sick of society telling me how to raise my kids. Im sick of society telling me that because Im going through a divorce I should acting differently then I am. Im sick of society as a whole.
I know that being different affects my kids. I know that their friends moms thinks Im some crazy lunatic..and for that I am sorry it if affects them. But this is me.. I choose what I want to do with my life and my kids life..if you dont like..then well, youre free to walk away.
This is why I dont have a lot of "mom" friends. Because I cant stand the competition between moms and how the children are raised and developing.
So yeah, anyways, I vented.. lol This shit pisses me off. But I am calm in the fact, that I know that my children will walk out my door when the time comes, knowing how the REAL world works..and be able to survive in it.
Lets see if the stepford wives kids can....
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
What doesnt kill us, makes us stronger?
Havent updated this in a long time. I know. Its horrible. A lot of things have gone on since my last blog. Some great, and some well, not so great. I wish that I had my pictures uploaded to show some of the great times that kids and I have had. Like camping for the first time. That was an experience. Thankfully my best friend took us as she knows basically all there is to know about camping. My kids and I loved it, and we plan on going again in the fall.
Im feeling a little, well I dont know how to describe it. Its not really sad, maybe thoughtful? I wish that I could write down everything in here. But Im afraid people would actually read it I suppose.
Ive been told lately that there is something behind my eyes. Like a great pain that I choose not to share. And my thoughts are, why share it? Its better locked away. I wish that I could lock it away to the point that I dont even know that its there.
As much as I hate it, I see the world differently now. I use to find the beauty, and I still can, but I know that it doesnt last. That really nothing last anymore. Which should make one more appreciative to have it at that time. But when you know that it will go away, its hard to keep it close. You start to push it away. Knowing that if you can keep it at arms length, the pain wont be as harsh when it does leave.
When I started this blog, I wanted it to be about the fun, happy times that the kids and I have. I stated that it wouldnt be a divorce or a man hater blog. I still stick with that. I dont hate all men. But I suppose I am bitter. And Im still angry. Its been almost a year since I took the kids and walked out the door. Im still finding it hard to not look back.
I consider myself damaged. Pieces of me gone forever. Yes, I still laugh, I still joke around. I still act really stupid at times just to make others laugh. On the outside I act as everything is fine. On the inside? Well, thats a whole other story.
Honestly, I dont know how to describe it. How do I put into words the feelings and thoughts that go through my head. The reasons behind far away looks that I get when I think no one is looking. How tired I actually am. Not the sleepy tired, the tired of not allowing myself to be who my emotions want me to be. I know that Im strong. I know everything that Ive learned this past year has only made me stronger. But damnit, I want some time where I dont have to be strong anymore. But that is not an option.
So many demands, my life is not mine. And I know that by being a mother, that is a given. And I wouldnt trade my children for anything in this world or out of it. But so many other people demanding things. Things that I have to find deep down inside of me. Demands that I sometimes think I cant fill. But what choice do I have? I have to fill them all, somehow, someway.
So, as the saying goes. "What doesnt kills us, makes us stronger" ... but how strong am I expected to be? Should really be the question. And for that, there is no answer..........
Im feeling a little, well I dont know how to describe it. Its not really sad, maybe thoughtful? I wish that I could write down everything in here. But Im afraid people would actually read it I suppose.
Ive been told lately that there is something behind my eyes. Like a great pain that I choose not to share. And my thoughts are, why share it? Its better locked away. I wish that I could lock it away to the point that I dont even know that its there.
As much as I hate it, I see the world differently now. I use to find the beauty, and I still can, but I know that it doesnt last. That really nothing last anymore. Which should make one more appreciative to have it at that time. But when you know that it will go away, its hard to keep it close. You start to push it away. Knowing that if you can keep it at arms length, the pain wont be as harsh when it does leave.
When I started this blog, I wanted it to be about the fun, happy times that the kids and I have. I stated that it wouldnt be a divorce or a man hater blog. I still stick with that. I dont hate all men. But I suppose I am bitter. And Im still angry. Its been almost a year since I took the kids and walked out the door. Im still finding it hard to not look back.
I consider myself damaged. Pieces of me gone forever. Yes, I still laugh, I still joke around. I still act really stupid at times just to make others laugh. On the outside I act as everything is fine. On the inside? Well, thats a whole other story.
Honestly, I dont know how to describe it. How do I put into words the feelings and thoughts that go through my head. The reasons behind far away looks that I get when I think no one is looking. How tired I actually am. Not the sleepy tired, the tired of not allowing myself to be who my emotions want me to be. I know that Im strong. I know everything that Ive learned this past year has only made me stronger. But damnit, I want some time where I dont have to be strong anymore. But that is not an option.
So many demands, my life is not mine. And I know that by being a mother, that is a given. And I wouldnt trade my children for anything in this world or out of it. But so many other people demanding things. Things that I have to find deep down inside of me. Demands that I sometimes think I cant fill. But what choice do I have? I have to fill them all, somehow, someway.
So, as the saying goes. "What doesnt kills us, makes us stronger" ... but how strong am I expected to be? Should really be the question. And for that, there is no answer..........
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